When you talk, do people listen? When you walk into a room, do people turn to look at you? When you stand, do you exude confidence and power? All of these are aspects of how the way you carry yourself contributes directly to how much you stand out as a real man. There are a lot of actions you do both consciously and subconsciously that come into play when a man carries himself a certain way. The way you carry yourself very much determines how others see you.
The way you carry yourself speaks to your presence. This includes what you look like, how you dress, how you stand, and how others perceive you as a person. Ideally, all of these things come to you naturally and subconsciously, but that takes a lot of practice and is more of an eventual result over a long process rather than an immediate change that takes place overnight.
1- The Importance of First Impressions:
Although we all know we cannot “judge a book by its cover,” it is still a social norm to judge people by our first impression. One of the major struggles that that status quo has presented is the assumption that the way you look defines your character. Alas, it is only the first thing one may notice, and it is quite natural to make some interpretation based on what you wear, how you style your hair, and so on.
This mentality has been so deeply rooted in a society that one often catches himself saying, “will I look good with this haircut?” every time they flip through a magazine or “do my clothes fit this special occasion?”. At the same time, they rummage through their closet and even “what if people don’t like my new bag?” while shopping for themselves. The greatest struggle for how one looks has become finding a way to please other people and leave a good first impression.
Many people are struggling with dressing up and caring for their appearance, but this is not the only thing you need to have to create a good first impression. People always tend to notice actions and habits - all these things collectively create an impression.
The question that then arises is how exactly one can leave a good first impression? Appearance is subjective and depends on the audience, but some features are necessary to the point that they may be considered rules.
Things as generic as the following are all noticed, directly or indirectly, by other people:
- Be on time
- Display confidence
- Listen actively
- Make eye contact
Below are habits that people appreciate and thus is worth struggling for:
2- Tips on How to Carry Yourself:
The way you carry yourself, the confidence you exude directly fuels your presence. This includes the way you dress, what you look like, how you stand, and how the people around you perceive you as a person. Tips to achieve these traits are discussed below.
While it would be ideal that these things be natural and done subconsciously, it is important to remember how different an individual is. However, this goal isn’t impossible. With the right amount of practice, the results are long term and natural rather than an overnight change that may be temporary. Self-improvement is always possible; here are some tips to help you on your journey to achieve it.
Your clothes matter!
The first impression you make on the people around you come from the way you dress. Hence, you must dress properly to make a strong and positive first impression. The key to looking good is finding the right fit for your body. Baggy and uneven clothing leads to a non-serious outlook provoking indifference in others.
- Invest in a good watch that fits you well. A watch is like a piece of art, tying your entire look together perfectly.
- Accessorize to a minimum and invest in a good pair of shoes. This makes a statement as soon as you enter the room, leaving behind an impression to be remembered.
A better appearance is the first and easiest step to self-improvement.
- Identify your strengths
- Work on your weaknesses
A real man knows what his weaknesses are and works on them to be better.
There’s a lot more than you think at play when you carry yourself like a real man. You’ll be able to convey ideas and signals with just the simplest of gestures, and people will pay attention to you without much effort from your end. This leaves an extremely impressionable effect on people and puts you in a powerful position whether it be as a leader, a speaker, a boyfriend or husband, or even as just a friend. Carrying yourself like a real man and making your presence known can really make a strong impact wherever you are and whatever you do.
Here are some tips to help improve the way you carry yourself:
1. Body Language
Your body language allows others around you to notice you, pay attention to you, and to see exactly what you want them to see. This happens mostly with your gestures and the tone of your voice. A lot of what makes up your body language and gestures are influenced by the way you stand, your posture, how you walk, and the interactions you have with others, however big or small.
These things aren’t just about what you do when others can see you, either. How you carry yourself when you’re alone shows you yourself what kind of man you are. If you want to change the way you carry yourself, you have to become a master of your physical gesticulation and practice until it becomes so natural that you don’t have to think twice about your body language.
While body language is definitely one of the most important things in the way you carry yourself, being able to articulate and express yourself clearly and confidently is just as crucial. One of the most unmanly things one can do is babble, especially when talking about something that can be summarized in just a few points. A real man must be a good communicator, as communication opens and closes doors of opportunity without us even realizing it.
Being able to articulate your thoughts clearly also shows others that you know what you want to say and aren’t afraid to get straight to the point. When people see that you know what you’re saying and are confident in your delivery, they will immediately pay more attention to you and be drawn to you. On the contrary, if you’re constantly unsure of yourself and come across as someone who doesn’t really know what they’re saying, it’ll be much harder to carry yourself in a way that will help you be seen as a real man.
You must be able to understand and read the way others communicate and interact with each other, whether it be physical or verbal. This allows you to know how to react appropriately depending on the situation. Without being able to do this, you’re likely to make an improper decision and thus slam a door of opportunity shut that you didn’t even know was available to you.
If reading others is proving difficult for you at the moment, which is normal, consider recording a situation where you’re having a conversation with someone one-on-one or in a group setting. This way, you can review the video and compare it against a standard for how you would like yourself to be seen. Study others’ body language, especially as it pertains to their interaction with you, and also pay close attention to your own. What would you change? What messages are others sending to you without even saying a word? What messages are you sending with your body language and what can you do to make it better?
Don’t be judgmental. This as true for others as it is for yourself. Carrying yourself like a man is more about vigilance and understanding others rather than forming opinions about them. By being judgmental, you fill your space with a negativity that can only hurt your impression on others and negatively impacts the way you carry yourself. On the other hand, if you’re filling your personal space with positive energy and optimism, others will naturally want to spend more time around you and be more drawn to you.
If you’re finding it too difficult of a task to evaluate yourself, don’t be afraid to ask a trusted friend or family member for their input. It’s best to get multiple opinions from different people while you’re out what they think about how you’re coming across. There are times when you can’t see yourself from a purely objective point of view. In this case, it might be necessary to get a third-party perspective on how you’re coming across in public or what impression you’re giving others.
Don’t do this if you’re not ready to handle the harsh reality when the time comes. Ideally, the friend or family member that’s helping you out will be willing to give it to you as it is without sugarcoating anything. However, in this case, there might be some hurtful words spoken. Don’t take these personally. Instead, take their advice to heart and see what you can do to change your image.
The key to understanding your behavior in the way you carry yourself is to pay attention to how you do it when you’re alone. That’s when you need to start making changes. Of course, the end goal is to influence how you come across to others in public settings, but if you’re not comfortable with yourself in the privacy of your own home, you’re going to be even less comfortable with other people. By incorporating these aspects into your own actions, especially when you’re alone, you teach yourself to embody them and instill a deep-rooted confidence within yourself.
Our physicality, our gestures, our tone are all only outward manifestations of what we think and feel inside. In order to truly carry yourself like a real man, your actions and what you do on the outside needs to match the way you think and feel on the inside. Others will see right through any forced or fake actions. Only by practicing alone can you learn to get a handle on both aspects of yourself, the inside and the outside, so you can learn how to carry yourself like a man and do it with authenticity. This is the time where you start to become a real man, instead of just wearing the mask of one.
3- Communication is key but not always verbal
- Working on your body language goes a long way. A strong body language turns heads and makes others pay attention. No matter how insignificant the act may be, controlled body language evokes people's admiration around you.
- Another great tip is to have strong eye contact with the person you’re addressing in a conversation. Making eye contact during conversations asserts dominance and control over the other, further boosting your confidence and making the person listen to you more attentively.
- Learn to socialize, interact with as many people as possible, build contacts. In knowing multiple people in various fields, you will have the experience and the exposure you need.
4- Remember to always be yourself
In the process of replicating someone else, you might lose the entire purpose of the process. The real secret to self-improvement and becoming a real man is carrying yourself out confidently, allowing others to admire the real you.
You may ask, what if it’s not working by following the changes above? Every change takes time, but as long as you do it continuously and make it a habit, you will carry yourself with confidence on any occasion. Throughout the process, you need to remember; all good things take time. Similarly, do not get disheartened over progress overnight. It all depends on person to person and the dedication you put in the process.
Every change takes time; as long as you do it consistently and exude confidence as you work yourself through the process, the change will come. Be sure to be motivated throughout, envision your goals in front of you and stay passionate in working towards them. You can only be what you allow yourself to be; hence, the real power to change lies in your own hands.
All of this may seem like too much to absorb, so let’s take a step back. Above all, it is important to be kind to yourself. Remember that the most important aspect is to be comfortable in your skin, so be patient when trying to alter anything and recognize that personal development can occur successfully at a pace that is fit for you.
This process is different for each individual because everyone is unique. This means that you need to be kind to yourself and understand what parts you are willing to develop. Forcing this process means you are neglecting patience, which could lead to adverse results. Just because another person may have reached the goals you want to achieve doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to compete with him.
When it comes to personal development, remember that nobody is born to be perfect and patience is key. Follow your own pace to see your growth.
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