“Happy Birthday!!!” We shouted as we welcomed John in the private VIP rooftop lounge with luxurious finishes like Italian Portoro marble, Macassar ebony, nickel finish walls and amber Venini glass chandeliers that we occupied to celebrate his birthday. We were dressed in our finest suits but with party hats and a balloon in hand. We decided to surprise him in a childish way since he is the youngest among us all.
Popping the 1995 Dom champagne, and my personal collection of a 1986 Macallan we gave John a tossed drink and Jake poured his remaining wine to John, we all followed afterwards. What a lunatic set of friends I have. This will be a fun night.
“Ok, since our little boy is now officially 28," Jacob muttered. “We need some words of wisdom from our ever-true gentleman friend, Kris!”
Sitting comfortably in custom-built Italian leather banquettes with marble tables, and cozy outdoor seating niches in an outdoor terrace with an exquisite panoramic Manhattan skyline view that has a direct line of sight to the Hudson River and Empire State Building from the floor to ceiling windows I almost spat out my drink as I wasn’t expecting that at all.
Laughing, I took a large gulp from my drink and started. “You know what John, you should be observant. Aside from learning from me (with a joking wink) learning from movie characters can be a good start…the way they dress, how they act, and what they think. ”
Here are tips on how to be a modern gentleman based on these movies and how they carry themselves in the way they dress.
Believe in yourself
If you do not believe in yourself, no one will. Believing in yourself would not only give you confidence but will take you to places. As quoted by the movie The Imitation Game, “Sometimes it is the people no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine.”
An American historical film based on the real-life story of legendary, famous genius British mathematician, logician, cryptologist and computer scientist Alan Turing, who led the charge to cracking the German Enigma Code that helped the Allies win WWII. Turing with all his might and intelligence went on to assist with the development of computers at the University of Manchester after the war but was prosecuted by the UK government in 1952 for homosexual acts which the country deemed illegal.
Believe in yourself and never doubt, a key towards your dreams.
To succeed, we must first believe that we can. Alan Turing at a young age displayed signs of high intelligence which most people recognized but did not respect. He was smart and talented and he knew it. However, other co-workers hated him due to his bad temper. But Turing was unstoppable despite people not believing in him, he still pursued his passion in solving problems which led him to contribute an important role in WWII. He believes in himself anyway and finally broke the code to stopping the war. He was awarded an Order of the British Empire for his Work.
People will judge what you are and how you look.
You see, it is not based on how many people believe in you, it is on how you believe in yourself. Alan Turing was portrayed as a mathematician with autism-spectrum behavior who was sadly persecuted by the British authorities for being gay. He experienced a tough life. You can tell his status in life by the way he dresses. He shows off with ill-fitting clothing. Though he carried himself badly or poorly in those times, that didn’t determine on how far he could go.
During his interview, he had a well put together and somewhat clashing tweed suit, Prince of Wales check shirt and Prince of Wales tie. Different time periods of clothing in his school days, Bletchely and Manchester was a mirror to his mental state and how savagely cruel he had been treated. Everything was wrinkly or a little tight at the top and saggy at the bottom.
Despite all this, he still pursued his passion and look where it got him. Overall, Alan was into a disheveled look, which reflected his busy life solving codes and so he neglected his physical appearance. But the thing is, nowadays physical appearance is as important as your intelligence. People tend to judge you on the way you dress, keep in mind that you should dress to impress.
In pursuit of your dreams and visions, don't be easily discouraged by the people around you. If you believe in your idea, go for it. If it fails, at least you can learn from the experience.
- Here’s what: no matter what kind of person you are, you must believe in yourself first so that others will trust you and admire you. Don’t take others’ words too seriously because at the end of the day it is you that matters, it is you who will learn from it.
- Here’s why: people will start taking you seriously only after you believe in yourself, trust yourself because no one else will. The best way to make them believe in you is by letting them see you achieve your goals because you believe in yourself. Let your success do the talking.
- Here’s how: find your interest and work on it. They say beautiful works come from the heart, so find in your heart what interest you and work towards it with all your heart. Then people will see through your work how much you love doing it and you can find the courage to believe in yourself.
Make the Right Decisions
Making decisions will always be a part of our life. The moment you open your eyes, you can decide whether to wake up to start your day or sleep more for about 5 minutes that turns out to be an hour. But the crucial thing about making decisions is that will either benefit you or it won’t. It is important to make the right decisions, they say that you will know you made the right decision when you pick the hardest and most painful choice, yet your heart is at peace. As quoted in this famous movie entitled Inferno “The decisions of our past are the architects of our present.”
A mystery thriller novel by American author Dan Brown and the fourth book in his Robert Langdon series. This movie portrays famous symbologist Robert Langdon following a trail of clues tied to Dante, the great medieval poet. Langdon wakes up in an Italian hospital with amnesia and together with Sienna Brooks who is a doctor. He hopes she will help him recover his memories. Together, they race across Europe and against the clock to stop a madman from unleashing a virus that could wipe out half of the world's population.
Sometimes you made the right decision, sometimes you made the decision right.
Robert Langdon was a professor at Harvard, teaching Symbology, and Art History. He found a map of hell, leaving the clue of an evil plan to reduce half of the human population. While figuring out codes, he must make the decisions about where to go and what to do next. Thanks to his clear mind and correct decisions, he didn’t let the lethal virus go out. His decisions not only saved people's lives, but also preserve centuries of art and history. In life, it is not about being smart, but thinking above and beyond what you see to make the best decision. A good decision is the fastest way to success. But in life you can’t have all the right decisions, you will always make bad decisions along the way. But you can learn from your mistakes, just keep in mind to think before you act.
How to dress in an academic environment:
Your clothes always says something about you. Robert Langdon carried a look of “decidedly urban, elegant and discreet” as describe by Florence-based Salvatore Ferragamo Group who designed costumes for the main characters of the film. Since he is a professor in a university he must maintain a certain appearance. This applies to any and all professions. You must wear something suitable for your line of work. Robert pulled it off with a simple charcoal gray suit, a sky-blue shirt and a pair of Tramezza handcrafted lace ups.
Keep in mind that there is no wrong time for right decisions, you just must think through it and believe in it.
- Here’s what: it’s not about being clever, but thinking deeper to make the best decision. You don’t need to be smart to make the best decision, sometimes best decisions are made using your heart.
- Here’s why: a good decision is the fastest way to success. You can learn from mistakes, but if you think before you act, it will save you from wasting time and working in the wrong direction. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s bad to make bad decisions, it’s just that it will save you time, effort and headaches.
- Here’s how: life is full of choices, you can take every dilemma you encounter as a code and think about every connection and consequences in between to figure out the best solution. You just have to try thinking from a different perspective for you to have a better understanding on the situation or problem.
Watching movies will really help you learn from others. Different types of movies will teach you different lessons. Just like how Robert solved mysteries, he used many reference books or professional aids that gave him a better understanding of specific aspects. Books discussing various topics will provide you with different perspectives. Characters from novels have all kinds of personalities that you can refer to in your daily life.
Everything that I’m sharing right now is basically what I learned from reading and being a movie lover. Learning from them helped me on my way to becoming a true gentleman. Not only did I learn how to behave or think but also how to act in various life events and occasions. The best results come from making the right decisions.
Think Fast and Act Quick
You will never win in this battle called life if you are slow to think and act. Life is full of predators, so if you do not take a good opportunity, others will. That doesn’t mean that when opportunity knocks, you should take all of it. You must also choose your battles by thinking about it. “If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.” Quoted in the famous movie Pirates of the Caribbean.
Pirates of the Caribbean is a series of American fantasy films. A film lead by protagonist Jack Sparrow, the captain of a group of pirates. With he came across with one of his enemies, Captain Salazar from the devil’s triangle who swore to kill every living pirates including Jack, his only hope of survival lied in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon. But in order to find it, he had to forge an uneasy alliance with a brilliant and beautiful astronomer and a headstrong young man in the British navy.
"There will be times when you don’t know what to do and how to plan for something."
My advice: Just go ahead and do it.
Don’t wait, life passes faster than you think. Jack Sparrow was not a planner but a doer. He doesn’t predict what’s coming, but acts immediately after something happens. As a leader of a group of pirates, Jack must quickly think and act in situations because often times, it is a matter of life and death. Because of his quick thinking, he always escapes from being caught or killed. Sometimes hesitation causes regret, so think fast and act quick and just do it now, for there is no best time.
Be impressive in detail, not imprisoned by trendy fashion:
Every decision makes a difference, so if you want to make it, you need to cultivate the ability to brainstorm faster. In the movie, Jack wears a red bandana and numerous objects in his hair, influenced by Keith Richards' habit of collecting souvenirs from his travels. He wears charm bracelets which the movie played a large role in popularizing.
Life is full of infinite choices, you just have to pick the right one. Don’t be discouraged if you fail, get up and learn from it.
- Here’s what: agility is key. When an emergency happens, it’s very important to deal with it right away, and if you think too much about it you might lose the chance. But remember that not all risks are worth the chance, learn when to grab a chance or let it go.
- Here’s why: life changes every second and you can’t plan for your whole life and think it through. In some cases you need to think fast and adapt to changes as they occur. The world is constantly moving, you can’t command it to stop for you to think things through so you just have to be quick in thinking.
- Here’s how: this takes time and skill. More experience will help you react faster to different situations, and learning from your experience will go a long way.
Practice solving the Problems
We make decisions to solve problems. Even at school at a very young age we are taught to solve problems. It is essential to develop a character that will pass all the tests you will encounter in life. The best way to solve a problem is by facing it. Instead of worrying about it, why not try to solve it? As it is quoted in the movie Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, “My philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice.”
In a movie from a 2001 book written by British author J. K. Rowling, the story revolves around Newt Scamander. This movie talks about the magical creatures in the Harry Potter universe. Newt is an English wizard that loves magical animals. When he travels to the US, his animals accidentally escape from his suitcase and he must look for them.
Meanwhile in NYC, Obscurus, the devil spirit, attacks people and its magic power is about to be exposed to the muggle world. Newt Scamander lets out his creatures to help and he finally finds all of them. This movie shows that he did not only solve his problem in looking for the creatures but also used what people consider to be a problem, which is the creatures itself, in solving the bigger problem, which is the magic exposure.
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. – Albert Einstein
Newt Scamander exhibits a character of being a troublemaker. We cannot outplay life, whether we like it or not, problems come everyday. Instead of complaining, it’s more important and efficient if you try to solve them. At the beginning of the movie, they had no idea what caused the Obscurus, so they didn’t know what to do with it. but then they realized it was the pressure and forces that created such a powerful but dreadful creature, so they knew that the best way to face the problem is to open their mind. While solving a problem, you will learn from it and maybe even help others.
Own your style and others will follow:
The best weapon is how you dress yourself. In this movie the main character was clothed with a very versatile coat that can accommodate many different types of occasions.
The movie creates a period-correct 1920s wardrobe, but with whimsical touches for the wizards wearing them. Colleen Atwood, the designer of the movie’s costumes, dresses Newt in a deep peacock color—juxtaposed with the brown of his waistcoat, and the similarly dull, warm tones that were in vogue during that period. She also made his clothes ill-fitting enough to add a bit of quirkiness to the character.
As Zig Ziglar said, problem-solving becomes a very important part of our makeup as we grow into maturity or move up the corporate ladder. Keep solving problems, they are the best teacher.
- Here’s what: it’s okay to be a troublemaker, but you have to be capable of solving the troubles you make. It may sometimes be hard but you just have to think it through, like thinking about the roots of the trouble and surely it will help you solve the problem.
- Here’s why: like it or not, problems come every day. Instead of complaining, it’s more important and efficient if you try to solve them. The best way to solve the problem is to face it and not run from it.
- Here’s how: understand the main problem. It may not be obvious, but you need to dig them out so that you know where the problems are and what methods you need to use to solve them. Practice thinking in different ways so that you will have deeper understanding about the problem.
Adjust the Way of Thinking
People keep on saying it’s all in the mind. What they are trying to say is that whatever you are feeling, it is all just in your mind. You just have to change your perspective or try to look at things from their perspective and adjust your way of thinking. As quoted in this famous movie of James Bond, Spectre “Well, it's all a matter of perspective.”
Spectre is the twenty-fourth spy film in the James Bond film series. Bond is a professional agent from the organization MI6 His life is surrounded by spies, betrayal, and danger. So when in danger, it’s hard to tell who’s good and who’s bad, especially when often times the attitude towards the matter at hand determines the result. In the end, he saves his lover and stops the bad guys.
A true gentleman takes failure as one step closer to success.
Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. We can learn by the character of Bond that in every situation or circumstance there will always be two sides, the good and the bad, and we should learn to see the more positive one. When we encounter an inevitable problem or even danger, thinking in a certain way will help you clear your mind and calm yourself, so that you won’t be in a panic.
One way is by giving yourself different reasons and motivations. For example, when you’re at work and you’re overwhelmed with your workload, if you cannot change it, you can see it as a type of training for your efficiency and mind. “Every break up is a new fresh start; every failure is one step closer to success. Keep that in mind John.”
A customized 3 piece suit will never go out of style
Becoming a true gentleman takes a fine suit. James Bond came with Tom Ford clothing and accessories. A perfect example of a modern gentleman, he looks and acts the part. Austrian jacket and trousers, a Tom Ford Bomber jacket in the Austria scenes. We can clearly see the Tom Ford style throughout the movie, such as the ivory coloured Windsor tuxedo jacket and tuxedo shirt, a polo shirt which will be seen in the Morocco/Tangier scenes, three different dress shirts including one with turnback cuffs, two formal coats for Rome and London, four neckties, a bow tie and pocket square.
An author named Chris Pine once said that the only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don't have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it.
- Here’s what: one thing has two sides, and we should learn to look at the brightside. Every situation or decision has a bad or good outcome. Even as humans, we all have a good or bad side, you just have to understand and embrace it.
- Here’s why: when encountering an inevitable problem or even danger, this way of thinking will help you clear your mind and calm yourself, so that you won’t be in a panic. Put yourself in different situations and scenarios to have a better understanding of the problem so you will be able to decide which is the best course of action.
- Here’s how: give yourself different reasons and motivations. The best way to adjust your way of thinking is by being understanding, not quick to judge but quick to think.
“So it’s not just about plainly watching a movie but understanding everything from the plot to the characters. This will help you learn to deal with many kinds of circumstances in life." I was interrupted by a knock on the door. A large box was outside.
Oh, I think Jacob’s surprised has finally arrived. I guess the night just got more interesting.
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